Random Talk: This is a new one one me….

[c]2009 by Zorek Richards
Lighthouse Baptist Church; St George Kansas

Alright, so I end up in Wamego, Kansas, through a chain of events, and when I hit bottom a few new doors open up. Most impactful, at least at first is a new church, one Lighthouse Baptist in St George. I become a faithful attendee but then start to see something I cannot do anything about: I am not a Baptist.  That became clear after a bit and though I would not of thought it important, it became so. Mainly because of my initial dialogue with the pastor, Jim. At one point in one of our first conversations he kind of came out of the blue and said “It’s hard to get people to unlearn things.” I agreed at the time, but now that I  look back, and considering I was giving him 20 questions on what he believed in and share some of mine, he was telling me that it would be very hard to get me to unlearn stuff.  I only recollect that in hindsight, but it became clear as we went along. He was very quick to always shoot down most of my comments in a Bible study and then say that he would get back late in the week on it. He never did. He never tried. It soon became clear that he was saying that just in show of others, but outside of that  he would have nothing to do with me. Why? Because I am not one he could control, and I have more Biblical knowledge than he could dare to really touch.  That is not an arrogant brag on my part, it is just an observation.  But I had too much for him to unlearn to mold into the “yes man” that he wants from his congregation.  And, did I say he used to be a used car salesman?  Yeah, he had the technique down in his position as a pastor.

Anyway, I reckoned I would leave there and had pretty much quit going to the Sunday meetings any way. I started to show up for the Wednesday night meal just to chat a bit, but then found it wrenching to have to sit through a Bible study under his command.  I tried not to ask questions, but sometimes I just had to and he did his usual shut down and we will  talk later bit, and then there never was a later.

Well, then through some chain of events I became friends  with Carol, who went to Lighthouse.  Carol had been very cruelly dumped after a week or so of marriage by an associate pastor at Lighthouse, Scott Perry, who Jim had urged to have put in the position. Carol claimed that there were people really pushing the marriage, but Scott showed his true colors and very cruelly betrayed her. After the annulment went through we started talking. We became friends. Then a bit more than friend without going into details (No sex, of course).  After a couple weeks though it was clear that someone had her ear again. I confronted her about it and she denied it. But she was beginning to push away.  Well, after she in turn betrayed me by claiming that she had no idea what she meant when she said “I love you” and she wanted to stop kissing and such and just be “fair weather friends”, I told her I loved her but I did not think it fair that she lead me on then begin to pull away.  But I was not angry at her. Maybe a little bit at God initially . But with suspicion that maybe the one who was telling might be Jim, though she denied it. My commitment was always first to God, so after a felt like I got kicked in the stomach by Carol’s own betrayal of me for a day or so, then I picked up my life and went on.  Then, what do you know, but one of Jim’s faithful slipped and told me stuff that she should not be telling me because the stuff was told to Jim and Jim should not be talking about it. It was always clear that Jim talked about people and told stuff that he should not tell because as a pastor it was told in confidence. But Jim quite frequently spilled information in an effort to make himself  look “informed” I guess.

So I was told a bit about Carol & Jim’s dialogue through another church member, who I will call “A.” I told “A” I was going to have words with Jim. “A” had many times agreed with my complaints about Jim. I had no opportunity physically so sent an email quite a few times. Jim, of course, as is par for his course did not answer. Anyway, at this point it got so messed up and even “A” was telling me how Jim’s wife was all upset and hurt about things. My question; What things?  There is a group of people at a Baptist church who spend time talking about each other…and then I am the bad one because I say “Stop! It is not right!” No one should be talking about anyone else, and ESPECIALLY if it is in pastor-counselee relationship………….and this was the proverbial, final straw for me. Jim had no business telling “A” about Carols problems so that “A” could tell anyone for any reason. And especially not me because 1) I do not care to hear about others people secrets, and 2) it was already clear that this was something Jim does regularly.

OK, so here’s the twist: I have become the bad guy. And I do not even go to the church. I exposed this happy gossip group and now, according to them,  I am just evilly hurting people left and right.  I am a bully!! How about that?? I do not share gossip and have no interest in hearing it. Anyone who knows me should know that by now. If someone shares someone elses problems with me, I usually ask why? I have ZERO interest. I do not snoop through people’s  stuff when they are not around and could care less about their secrets.

OK, so I will leave it at that. Jim and this group will probably claim to be the martyrs of some kind. Fine, I do not care. I feel sorry for those who think he is more than a used car salesman. Carol was a friend who betrayed me. No one stepped up, and especially not JIm, for my pain. I promised Carol that I would love her and I do not break promises like that….even in spite of what she did.  But life goes on.I am going to keep looking Eastward and they can continue to keep each other company as they stare at each other. Hey, you guys won what you wanted: You got each others commitment: Enjoy it! Jim could have stopped a lot of things earlier had he not been so self-absorbed in his own business (whatever that is) and communicated in the first place. I suspect he spends a lot of time getting his sermons off the internet. And, yes, I inadvertently discovered that early.

Afterthought: I do not think it reflects all Baptists or all Baptist Churches. Just the clique within this one, and it is not clear yet how far  reaching it is within the boundaries of that church, but I am guessing that since “birds of a feather flock together” that it is far more reaching then I care to guess.

And, in case anyone involved in the situation reads this, let me get you to think about this: Jim painstakingly approached both Carol and “A” (even met her for lunch (which BTW,  “A” wrote me after some dialogue and said:  “thank God for grace…and for your sense of humor. You get it, too. lol)”, then after their lunch meeting, she took it all back)  in order to fix what he is now claiming is misunderstanding on their part, but “bullying” by me, but not once, even in the time I was going there, even in the time I openly disagreed with him, he NEVER EVER made ANY attempt to reconcile or make any amends with me whatsoever. And I am really not that hard to get along with and have no problem on many issues to simply agree to disagree.

785-313-0780 (Text on 09-09-09 @ about 7 PM) Manhattan misswhite20072002@yahoo.comt